As a little girl, I used to spend hours daydreaming. Then I just naturally carried on into adulthood. I dreamed about the boy I was in love with, and how he would just adore me someday. I dreamed about the wonderful career I would have, and how everybody would (oh so much) admire me.I dreamed about how fit and beautiful I would be. I was spending several hours a day daydreaming. I have no idea if this is unusual or not, because nobody talks about it. But I eventually grew tired of it.
Two things happened. First, I started to get some of the things I used to dream about. I then realized that when I reached my goal, my life would basically stay the same. It’s very unfortunate, but when you have emotional problems (depression, say, or low self esteem), no goal reaching in the world will ever change this sad situation.
I also realized I was litterally addicted to daydreaming. I was turning down activities that were pleasurable, or should be pleasurable, just because I would prefer having time alone to daydream. I would not go out with friends in order to stay with my love fantasy of the day. Suddenly, I felt trapped in my own head, alone, and disconnected. I also was feeling powerless, because instead of doing things, I dreamed them.
I then refused to daydream at all, cold turkey.
Today, I realize that some daydreaming can be good. It is hard to know where we are going if we can’t imagine it or picture it. It helps to visualize where we want to go and who we want to be. I must admit that without daydreaming, my life had little direction. So it is definitely useful.
But like other useful things it can unfortunately turn into an addiction. When you have the choice between dreaming that you are winning a marathon and taking an hour to run, if you choose dreaming, you are definitely on the addicted side.
Don’t choose deams over real life. Don’t avoid life. It will not wait for you to wake up. Daydreaming is fine when we don’t have the choice, when we are little and powerless to change our circumstances for example. Or when we are stuck in the subway during peak hours. But don’t use your time daydreaming when you could be taking care of yourself in the real world instead. Be present in your life.