“I get it now.”
It was 4 magic phrases stated to me by my then-boyfriend. We’d been residing collectively for just a few weeks earlier than I had a large level-10 migraine. I regarded like loss of life. I felt prefer it, too. I cried in mattress whereas I held a chilly, moist washcloth over my brow and eyes, making an attempt to will the solar out of the sky, the Earth from spinning, my mind from rebelling towards me. Me, an individual who usually withstands ache like a chilly, unmoving statue. Now sobbing into our comforter.
He’d by no means seen it earlier than. Up till this level, he’d solely heard about my migraines by my very own descriptions. Once we first began courting, I used to be feeling significantly horrible and needed to cancel plans. “I’m sick,” I stated, feeling like a corpse.
“Oh, what’s unsuitable?” he requested with concern.
“I’ve a migraine.” I may barely get the phrases out, I used to be to this point down the migraine gap. All communication expertise have been washed away when the dam broke.
“Oh…that’s a bizarre option to describe it. That you just’re sick.” He didn’t perceive why I’d use that phrase. Why I’d describe it in the identical means that you just’d say you had a chilly or the flu. To him, it was in all probability only a fancy option to say I had a headache.
I let that one go on the time. I didn’t have a lot vitality to elucidate when most of my mind was so centered on the ache.
However now, freshly moved in collectively, he may see the illness in my face. I regarded pale. All the sunshine and happiness had drained from my eyes. I used to be respiration closely, sobbing. I used to be nauseous, delicate to gentle and sound. Even to the untrained eye, it was clear this wasn’t “only a headache.” It was extra. It was monumental. And sadly, it was routine. Whereas this was my first level-10 migraine whereas residing collectively, it definitely wouldn’t be the final.
He noticed me that day, and he lastly knew. “I get it now,” he stated as he introduced me a glass of water, as he re-filled the massive bowl of ice water I saved at my bedside to refresh the rag on my head.
He acquired it. Not simply that day, however each canceled plan after. Each time my world crashed to a halt due to a neurological dysfunction I had no management over. That’s what it was wish to be with somebody who understood and cared about what I used to be going by. Within the three years we lived collectively, he re-filled my ice water, gave me neck massages any time the strain constructed precariously near triggering a full-blown migraine, saved the residence quiet whereas I suffered alone in our darkened bed room. Whereas it won’t have been the fairytale residing preparations both or us had envisioned, it introduced us nearer collectively.
It’s laborious to seek out individuals who actually perceive the battle in the event that they haven’t skilled migraines themselves. Even household won’t get it. However discovering a accomplice who understands is to be actually seen.
He set the precedent. He’s the ruler I measure all current and future romantic prospects by. As somebody with a power sickness, I can’t settle for something lower than a loving and accepting accomplice. And neither do you have to.